The F Word
by babbitrulez
Summary: To sum i all up, Private learns a new word. What could it be? Well, it's not "french fries", I'll tell you that. If you're curious, you'll read it. Please review, 'cause this is my first PoM story and I need feedback. Any kind will do.


Hey, guys! Sorry I've been on hiatus so long... Its just that I've been low on inspiration and time. And... now with my first year of high school starting next week, I'm not sure how much free time I'll actually have... Ah, who cares?

Okay. Upside time!

This is my first penguins story that I'm uploading. I have more on my computer, but wanted to test a oneshot first, to see if people wanted more... So... This show and the characters don't belong to me... yadda yadda... Dreamworks owns it... something about Nickelodeon... Tom McGrath... Nick Filippi... orange juice... Wait. What...? ... I dunno.

...

Roll clip!

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The "F" Word

**~Private learns a new word~**

Inside the home of an elite force of penguins, the youngest sat watching television, intrigued with the girl on the screen.

"Private!," a strict voice called from another room. "Report!"

The fluffy penguin chick whined. "Weh…? Uh…!"

"I **said**, 'report'!"

Private pouted, then left the room. But not before hearing a word said excitedly by the girl on the TV. As he walked to the room where his elder was, he tried out the new word. By the time he had reported for "duty", he was able to repeat it at an understandable level.

"Private! What **took** you so long?," a penguin a little taller than Private and broad-chested barked. The penguin was backed up by one who was taller, then one who was the tallest and also the thinnest.

Ecstatic at his discovery, the smallest bird smiled gleefully and answered with the new word he could say.

The other three gasped at his new-found declaration.

The second shortest whispered, "The "f" word…!," then yelled, "Security breach!," and the tallest pressed a red button on the wall of the room, setting off an alarm system of red lights and a siren.

The broad-chested one leaned down to the fluffy white penguin and asked him a question. "Private…?"

"Huh?"

"Where did you learn that word…?," the soft voice continued.

Young Private tilted his head to the side questioningly.

"The… um… **"f"** word…"

Private pointed to the TV room down the hall.

"The telly?"

The little penguin nodded his head. "Uh-huh."

"I see… Turn off the system!"

"Affirmative," the thinnest penguin replied, then pressed the red button once again, ceasing the flashing red lights and the blaring siren. "Those displays of blasphemous spewing of vile language are not allowed in this domain. **Especially** ones feeding the **"f"** word into young penguin minds…!," the tallest and most scholarly penguin said to Private.

"Uh-uh!," the second tallest penguin agreed, adding a side-to-side head shake for good measure.

"Bah…," a confused Private started, looking up at everyone. "B—"

"Ah-ah-ah…! No 'buts'," the second shortest penguin interrupted.

"Do show us the program that leaked this information!"

They all followed Private to the tv room and he pointed to the screen.

A girl was skipping along a path alongside her trusty mouse lemur, when a timber wolf jumped in front of them.

-"Taker! No taking! Taker! No taking! Taker! No taking!"-

-"Aw, rats!"-

"Fish and chips! Turn off this filth!"

The tallest penguin pressed the power button on the television, causing it to blink off.

"You were watching…," the broad-chested penguin started.

All penguins (except Private) shuddered.

The obvious lead penguin finished their sentence. "…Nora the Explorer and her lemur sidekick, Galoshes?!"

The innocent penguin nodded slowly.

"I'm **appalled** at you, Private!," the intellectual penguin exclaimed.

"As am I…," the broad-chested penguin said.

"… Sahwy, Mum… Sahwy, Da…"

"You **should** be," the hardened military mother said. Then, seeing her youngest son's sad face, she smiled and said in a gentler tone of voice, "Oh, it's okay. You didn't know." She picked up Private, hugged him, and held him there. Then she looked to her tall husband. "Grey…? Why didn't you **block** those disgusting channels for something more **appropriate**, like Realization Channel? … Or **Animal** **World…**?!"

"Sorry, Luann. It never crossed my mind, since Kowalski was by no means one for that show. He was always fascinated with the channels stated **previously**, not this **horrid** one!"

"Um… I'll be going now…," said the second tallest penguin, turning to leave.

"Oh no. **You're** not going **anywhere**, Kowalski," the stern tone of his father stated.

The oldest son stopped in his tracks.

"Don't you want to help me rewire the circuitry of the cable unit?," Grey asked, a smile on his face.

The 3 & ½-year-old Kowalski's eyes brightened as he turned to face is father. "You **mean** it…?!," he half-squealed.

"Yup! Come on! I'll **even** give you a piece of candy for a reward."

"Candy! Candy! Can—!" Young Kowalski stopped, recomposing himself. "… Right…," he said, looking down at the floor and following his dad onto the top of the cable box.

Luann rolled her eyes amusedly and carried her youngest son to the kitchen as she said, "C'mon, my little Vater… Let's go to the kitchen and whip us up some **snacks**…"

Private giggled and nodded his head as his mother set him down on the floor.

"And **no**more "f" word!," she scolded, looking down at her "Vater".

"No moh flahwohs…?"

"No. No more flowers…," Luann answered, searching in the refrigerator, trying to decide what kind of fish to have for a snack. "Now, what do you think, Vater? Cod or tuna?"

"Toowuh! Toowuh!," the fluffy ½-year-old said, elated.

Luann smiled and chuckled, "I **thought** you'd say that… Well! Tuna, it is…!"

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So how is it? Am I good at penguins stories? Or no? I need to know these things so I can see if this is an epic fail or not. -Julien voice- And do not worry, my loyal subjects, for I will have been being finee-shehd all of my KP chapter stories by my amazing and regal birthday! ... Or... after it. I'm flexible. ... ... -this is me again- yeah... 'kay, bye. babbitrulez, out!


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